I'm a lazy eater

Ideally, I would lay all day in a chaise lounge while a steady stream of Goldfish Crackers and Milk Duds are fed to me by some hunk.  Togas optional.

I’ve been comparing and contrasting the meals that I love to the healthy meals I’m trying to eat.  One thing keeps coming up as I analyze my old favorites: they have no more than three steps of preparation before they are torpedoed into my mouth.

Totino’s Pizza Rolls:

1. Unwrap - Dump out 20-30 bites – You’re eating pizza rolls, serving sizes don’t apply to you.
2. Heat – Be classy.  Use the oven, not the microwave.
3. Eat – Use a fork, you're not an animal and those suckers are coming out HOT.

McDonald’s Big Mac

1. Drive – Until you’re there, then go “Thru”
2. Order – Get the combo, but then add a McChicken cause it’s only a dollar. (As an aside: they must have a mayo quota to meet each month, I sometimes can’t see the sandwich through all the creamy fat.)
3. Drive Away – Use your knee cause you’ll need both hands to shovel those fries in your mouth while they are still hot, cause they turn to crap after they get cold.

Pschh - Whadda Rookie

State Fair Honey Battered Corn Dogs:

1. Unwrap – Take three or four out of their clear plastic prisons.
2. Heat - Fry ‘em up.
3. Eat – Dress in “Fancy” Ketchup only.  (If ever I get into the Ketchup game I’m definitely going to print “Black Tie Optional” on my fancy ketchup bottle

He's missing his monocle but you get the picture.

In contrast almost all healthy foods take far more steps.

1. Chop Spinach
2. Apply Dressing, Toss
3. Add Cheese
4. Add Meat – Not even counting the steps to grill a chicken breast
5. Add Sliced Almonds
6. Mix Up
7. Eat and then try not to think about how hungry you still are.

So much to do, so little reward...